


I Just Can't Bury You

by billyteddytrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Original Character(s), Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1912356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billyteddytrash/pseuds/billyteddytrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean sent him away. His best friend, his... Something else. Now he can't seem to forget him. And nothing can make it better.  What's wrong with him? </p>
<p>Castiel still keeps an eye on Dean. He doesn't understand why he couldn't stay. He should be angry. But he can't help but keep close. Should he just let him go? </p>
<p>Both hurting. Both confused. And neither willing to admit to weakness. This is the story of how they came back to each other, or at least tried to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Can't Bury You

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the beginning of an angst-ridden fic that I've had in my head for months. The title is a work in progress, so it may change before the next chapter is out. Updates every other week, and in between these updates, I'll be putting up more of my high school AU I started forever ago. I've got no one to beta for me at present but it'd be really cool if one of you could help me out. Anywho, here is chapter one.

Dean clenched his teeth and gripped the headboard as his thick cock was slowly engulfed in yet another cheap slut from the bar down the street. She moaned and writhed, breathing out harshly how good and big he was, and whatever the fuck else she was groaning out slowly became unintelligible. He grunted, thrusting in as roughly as he could. No matter how many times he pushed in and pulled out of her, his mind remained fixated on one thing and one thing only; He'd sent Cas away. Again.  
Biting his lip and squeezing the solid frame of the bed, he flexed his legs and slammed into the twenty-something beneath him. Slowly but surely, his sexual endeavour became a comparison; a fantasy, even. Dean's eyes fluttered shut and a moan escaped him as he pictured the almost-angel beneath him instead. He imagined himself riding his orgasm out, with Castiel's messy black hair and fluorescent blue eyes grabbing his attention and reminding him of why he was still here. Cas, the pale man who took Dean and allowed himself to be taken. He pictured his hands travelling quickly from the bed to the hips in front of him, his pace picking way up. Dean gasped for air, knuckles going white as he rode the cheap trick who wasn't Cas to the end of his sanity, crying out for Castiel as he came inside of her. She shook with pleasure, too drunk to notice he'd gotten her name wrong. Dean, however, couldn't forget it. Couldn't forget him. 

The girl (Bridgette? Brie? Brin.) slung her red leather jacket over her shoulder, cropped dark sex hair poking out in every direction. When she faced him, Dean felt a pang of familiarity. Her eyes were blue, but not blue enough. She was pale, but more like a ghost than a porcelain doll. Her hair was spot-on though. Brin looked enough like Cas to remind him, but not enough to keep him satisfied. He mulled over whether or not that was the reason he took her home as he walked her to the door. She turned to him and grinned. She wasn't unattractive by any means. He almost felt guilty for imagining Cas instead of her. Almost. 

With a wink and a wordless goodbye, Brin left him alone in the motel room with his thoughts. 

Dean stood there for a moment, the crippling pain of loneliness finally crashing down upon him. His face scrunched and rearranged itself into a pained grimace. With a heave of his chest, his burdened lungs quaking, the tears wouldn't stop. 

Where was his angel?


End file.
